These things I know for sure part 1

Oprah wrote a little booklet called, "These things I know for sure". In it are little tidbits of information she deemed valuable enough for American women (and gay men) to spend their hard-earned money on.

I have my own version of, "These things I know for sure". This is only part 1 of many more to come. I don't know how many of you know (probably all but you are too kind to point out the obvious), but I have put on some pounds. The other day at work, I started feeling bad about myself (the way that wearing pants two sizes too small will do to you). I decided that I should loose 20 lbs. I waited and waited and still after an hour, I hadn't lost the weight. I had to do something, I was getting a wedgie (which is very difficult wearing garments) from my too small pants. I needed to do something and something fast. What could I possibly do to quickly change? I looked in my desk drawer for ideas. A paper clip, dried up White Out, five highlighters, and a pair of children's safety scissors. Hmm, the dangerous ideas started to percolate. After painting my fingernails with day-glow orange highlighter, I still felt fat. I had not choice put to pick up the scissors.

I reached down under my desk for my trash bin and pulled it out. I got out my handy little compact mirror and decided that trimming my bangs would make my face look leaner. After a few minutes of snip snip snip, I did look better. It is true that if a little works then a little more will work better, right? I knew I needed a little layering in back so I snipped away. A little off the sides, I couldn't believe how much better I was feeling. So I reached back to trim the back off and AAAAARGH, I cut about four inches off the back of my head within an inch of my scalp. I had a client coming to see m in less than 10 minutes and I am sporting an un-mohawk.

I had to get into a zen place where I centered all of my inner Paula Mitchell to make sense of a really bad idea. Let it be said, this much I know for sure, never give yourself a haircut in your office while gazing into a 1 and 1/2 inch mirror.